I have studied all of your religions, and they are all stupid.

About 5000 years ago, some cavemen living in the sand wrote down a brutal mythology about sacrificing oxen, taking slaves, stoning people to death, and magic. This brutal caveman mythology has since been edited and revised to fit the agenda of whichever dictator was in power at the time.

There is no pie in the sky when you die. While Jesus' mom may very well have been a nice Jewish girl, she was not a virgin. Jesus didn't do magic tricks. The bible gives you many examples of incest, but it's still a bad idea, you fucking hillbilly. You shouldn't burn you neighbor at the stake, even though the bible often tells you to. "Adam" & "Eve" were monkeys. Jesus didn't have blonde hair. Nobody in that part of the world at that time did. If there were such a thing as God, (there isn't, but if there were,) he'd probably have a big enough dick that he wouldn't need you to grovel to him so much. You're not going to caveman Heaven, (read Revelations and tell me that that isn't some caveman's idea of Heaven,) or caveman Hell when you die. You're going to decompose. Priests don't really turn wine into blood. The world wasn't created by anybody in any number of days.

Also, there was no Lord Xenu. There weren't any aliens thrown into volcanoes 75 million years ago. Auditing will do nothing but deplete your bank account and give some cult members some blackmail information to use against you if you stop paying. It's pretty easy to make fun of the Scientologists, because their religion is stupid, and was made up by a drug addicted bad sci fi writer who spent his declining years on a boat with a crew of teenage boys.

Your religion was made up by cavemen.

Also, inert balls of gas in the sky millions and millions of miles away from you don't have anything to do with your personality. The lights in the sky can't tell your future. Astrology is stupid. It's a bunch of crap made up by primitive people who had primitive explanations for what they saw around them.

Much like your religion.

Grow up.